Day 81 to Day 88 - The real holiday from holidaying

Day 81
We were staying in a nice villa with a private plunge pool, it's a 10-15 minute walk from the beach but when you have a pool being near the beach isn't as important.

It seems we hadn't really caught up with our sleep as we ended up getting out of bed around midday. M went for a walk to check out the area and discovered that Bang Tao beach was a lovely long clean beach with quite a few nice looking beach bars and restaurants in-between only a few larger resorts.

We headed to the beach as it was getting dark, by this time the heat and humidity was much more bearable, and we had a nice dinner on the sand as the waves rolled in.

Day 82 to 83
For the next couple of days we took it easy, K took advantage of the nice plunge pool while M decided it was his last chance to get the blog into order and put in an incredible effort to finish the blogs for both this holiday and the last one to Eastern Europe.

Day 84
After four nights at Bang Tao we were a little sorry to say goodbye, but we had booked a resort close to Patong for the final four nights of the trip.

The new place didn't have the same sort of charm as the old one, it was really just a hotel suite in a large complex, and even though it was close to the beach the beach wasn't as nice as Bang Tao either. We visited the rooftop pool and it wasn't as nice as we expected, so we felt that M (who had selected this place in the first place) had made a grave mistake. M wasn't apologetic at all however, because in reality he was really bored at the last place, so bored in fact that the ended up finishing the blog for both this trip and the previous trip!

Day 85
From there the situation improved, M spent the day at a variety of Patong's strip clubs and girly bars, while K spent the time studying Spanish and checking up on her business interests back home. They only came together that evening to go out for dinner at one of the local Thai restaurants. K didn't deviate from her standard dish of Penang curry, but struggled to find one that was as good as the ones from Bayside Thai in Frankston.

That night  M didn't return to the hotel until 4am. He reeked of lemongrass and had massaman flavoured lipstick on his collar. He couldn't stand up to K's fierce questioning and eventually admitted that he had been with one of the Patong ladyboys (they really do look like women, anyone would be fooled, it's not as if M  knew there was a man hiding behind that adam's apple). He said he'd been attending a cooking class to learn how to make penang curry, as a surprise for K.

M was grounded, he was only allowed to leave the hotel if K was with him. The real worry though was the love bite on M's cheek, it wouldn't look good if it was still there when he went back to work next Monday.

Day 86
After a just a day of Mike moping around the suite K had had enough, and allowed him to go out on his own for an hour as a test. As it was a 20 minute walk to the nearest girly bar, that really only left 20 minutes for him to get up to any mischief, which was an acceptable risk. M was quite embarrassed that K had decided that she'd update the world on his misadventures by putting it in this blog, so he vowed to redeem himself. He spent his hour of freedom on self reflection and meditation, and also trying a few yoga moves he saw on a youtube clip, but as he lacked the true flexibility required for yoga he only ended up spraining his ankle.

K in the meantime had been on eHarmony and was checking out potential replacements for M, little did M know but that hour K had given him was really just a front, since K needed an hour a day to check her eHarmony messages from potential suitors back home, and set up some "appointments" with them for when M returned to work.

Amazingly K ended up getting a little tired of Penang curry and had grilled fish for dinner. This was great for M, as this meant he could start ordering really spicy Thai dishes without having to share them with K.

Day 87
Unfortunately the uneasy truce between M and K didn't last long. M snuck off to Bangla Road at about 2am when he thought K was sleeping. K heard him get up and decided to follow him, she certainly thought it was a bit strange to see him wearing a string vest, she had seen it in his case but thought it was just a shopping bag.

M moved pretty quickly through the night, it seemed he had an appointment to keep. K lost him but eventually spotted him again outside the Honky Tonk Bar, which wasn't totally unexpected as he had been whistling the tune to "Honky Tonk Woman" to himself all afternoon, which she thought was unusual as it was quite unlike the usual tunes he sang to himself when he thought no-one was listening.

If you look carefully you can see M's left arm on the extreme right of this picture

K confronted M at the bar just as he was about to slip away through the back door, she grabbed him by the vest and dragged him back to the resort. He did try to run off a couple of times but he didn't want to stretch his vest as he had gone to a lot of trouble to purchase it and he was very happy with the colour and fit, as well as the air to material ratio.

It wasn't until about 3:30am that they made it back, M refused to take his string vest off when they went to bed, as it was quite hot and he said it provided "excellent ventilation".

Day 88
Things were a bit strained the next morning. M was furious that his string vest was ruined, while K was contemplating packing up and going home. As it turned out this was quite fortuitous because the flight home was that day anyway! M checked in online and at K's request made sure they weren't seated together. 

It was a late departure so they stayed at the hotel most of the day. After getting a taxi to the airport and waiting around, they finally took their places in business class as M had put in a bid for an upgrade on the flight and had been successful. It was quite a pleasant flight as a result, with good service, plenty of room and some reasonable food - just the way to end a very enjoyable trip (well, the first 84 days that is).

Day 89

Home at last, we reacquainted ourselves with our house and dog, and prepared for the return to reality.  

Day 80 - Made it

Doha to Phuket was uneventful and we arrived at our villa near Bang Tao Beach around 9am. Luckily they let us check in early so we finally made it back to bed around 24 hours after getting up.

After catching up on some sleep we headed out to check out the area, and ended up at a Thai restaurant for a meal we had been looking forward to for some time, finally a chance to have something spicy!

Day 79 - We are trying to leave, not enter

The alarm went off at 4am to start our 22 hours of travelling. We had decided that we would rather take a series of short flights with layovers rather than sitting on a flight for umpteen hours. We took a
taxi to Tel Aviv airport to take our first flight of the day, 45 minutes to Amman, Jordan. We were a bit surprised that before we could join the check in queue we were subjected to an interrogation where K had to remove her glasses. M was told that he needed to provide another form of documentation apart from his passport (luckily he had his driver's license). Then M's stamp from Antarctica was queried, next we had to explain our relationship, and finally M had to say his birth date and then K's! Seriously guys we are leaving your country not entering and we are trying to join the check in queue not the customs line!

At Amman we joined the transfers desk queue and to the annoyance of all the people behind us once again we had to provide lots of documentation, including proof of our return to Australia. Then security decided to go through K's luggage and wanted to know what her medication was for - hey
guys, we are only passing through!

A few hours later we boarded our flight to Doha while not looking forward to our 5 hour layover. The section of Doha airport we were in was dead, as in it felt like it was the middle of the night, just us and the cleaners at 4pm on a Tuesday. We finally went to the lounge only to find it's one of these
annoying airports where they don't let you in to the lounge until boarding time and there aren't enough seats outside so lots of people have to sit on the floor. Just open the lounge door!

Doha Airport .... the world's most forlorn mascot

By the time we boarded in Doha we were still doing ok, and settled in for the last 6 and a half hour flight to Phuket.

Day 78 - The price doesn't include service

We had signed on to yet another "Sandemans free walking tour", our fifth on this trip, this time of the Jaffa old town, the original settlement near Tel Aviv. We have done loads of free walking tours over the years but it's only been this year that it seems the only choice is Sandemans. A tour is only as good as a guide and unfortunately this guide was a dry, quoting dates type of guide, this coupled with how hot it was and how little there was to see meant that we bailed early.

We went past some old buildings and some old ruins, as well as some modern sculptures, before we reached Jaffa old town. The old town was a bit underwhelming and there were only tourists around. Save for a few building with some sort of biblical connection it seemed every old building had been converted into an upmarket boutique or shop.

The beach at Tel Aviv is lovely with soft sand and very clean, so we spent the evening at a nice bar sitting on the sand. It's a shame that it cost so much though, two drinks each and two bowls of chips cost us about AUD$100, which includes the 15% service ... it seems Israel very much follows the US model with tipping, we'd been hit with the "the price doesn't include service" a lot.

We didn't stay out too late as we needed to have an early night in preparation for a very long travelling day the next day.

Day 77 - Warning: Don't use Budget in Israel!

We drove to see the Baha'i Gardens in Haifa, they were bigger than those in Acre and went up the edge of a large hill, there is a large gold dome in the middle. From the top we had a great view of the gardens and also of Haifa.

From there we drove on to Ceaseara to see the Roman ruins, this time we just viewed from outside  as there were bus loads of tourists and we felt we had seen our fair share of Roman ruins, although the aqueduct right on the beach was something we hadn't seen before.

We stopped for lunch in a beachside town on the Mediterranean and went for a walk on a lovely beach with fine sand, no rocks and very clean water.

After dropping off our luggage at our Airbnb in Tel Aviv we drove to the Budget office to drop off our rental car. Although we have hired lots of cars from Budget and always had good experiences, the Israeli experience made them seem like a different company.

On the pickup in Jerusalem they were disorganized, unprofessional and uncaring. The car we were given was very dirty with rubbish inside, and this was ingrained dirt, it wasn't just not cleaned from the previous rental. The outside had marks and scratches, there were dings in the panels, a hub cap was missing, as was a tail light. Although it had Budget stickers on it, it looked like "Rent A Bomb". Only some of these were marked on the paperwork and as M was taking photos and recording them the Budget guy was telling him not to worry about it. So, of course as soon as we pulled in to drop the car off they started on all the damage and wouldn't believe it wasn't there before! Luckily we had time and date stamped photos. We had also filled up the car about 20kms before we dropped it off but after that small distance the tank wasn't showing full any more.We ended up taking the car back out again to fill it up ... we were happy to see the end of that car and of Budget Israel as well.

The promenade and beach at Tel Aviv is very wide, and quite modern looking, and the beach has very fine white sand so we enjoyed a drink on the beach as the sun was setting (whilst trying not to choke at the prices) before heading home. Previous to Israel we had found Switzerland the most expensive country we have visited, but Israel is our new winner.

Day 76 - It's closed

Today being the Sabbat we were restricted with what we could do, our original plan was to drive to Tel Aviv and drop off the hire car but they aren't open on Saturdays. Instead we had booked accommodation in Haifa, another coastal city not far from Acre.

We went for a walk around Acre Old City which included the walls, citadel and the Templars Tunnels. The tunnels were only discovered in 1996 by a plumber, they would have been used as an escape route to the sea by the crusaders.

We then drove to the Bahi'a Gardens and were pleased when we were told that we were just in time to join a free tour of the gardens to learn about the Bahi'a faith and the history. A couple of moments later we were told that the tour was in Hebrew, not very useful for us. The gardens are immaculately manicured and the paths made out of broken terracotta tiles, recycling at it's best.

Our stop for the night was in Haifa and our hotel was quite close to the boardwalk so we walked along the edge of the Mediterranean looking for a cafe for lunch. However as it was Saturday we were out of luck, instead we drove to a supermarket that was luckily open to stock up on food for dinner.

Day 75 - Miraculous

Today was about Capenaum and miracles so the first stop was at Tabgha the site of the loaves and fishes miracles. Unfortunately the carpark and surrounding road was packed with bus loads of tourists who had the same idea as us. There was a newish church built on the site but the sheer number of people made it feel like we were at Disneyland. We then drove to the town area of Capernaum and managed to arrive in front of most of the bus loads and wandered the ruins and the sitting area on the bank of Galilee.

With the Jesus trail finished we drove on to the North West tip of Israel where it borders Lebanon as this was the closest we were going to get to Lebanon on this trip. We then followed the coastal road to Acre hoping to find somewhere close to the beach for lunch but all we found was lots of speed humps. We finally found a cafe that was open for lunch as nearly all the places had closed their kitchens at lunchtime on Friday.

Our stay at Acre was at an Airbnb in the old city right on the river edge. Parking was quite tricky in the narrow cobbled streets, especially as the host had a toy stall on the edge of the road so we were doing our best not to reverse over the plastic toys. We were staying on the bottom floor with old large exposed bricks and the family living upstairs.

It was a lovely spot with the restaurants right on the edge of the Mediterranean with a bright orange sun setting on the horizon - at least until the jet boat flew past at top speed to the screams of their passengers.

Day 74 - To the Sea of Galilee

We skirted around "Area A", the Palestinian area, since if we wanted to visit we would have to park the car and take a bus into Jericho. We were stopped at a checkpoint on the road to Beit She'an and our passports checked again. They are always very cheerful and seem happy to see that we are Australians, the kangaroo has a lot to answer for. The landscape started to change and we drove through some green valleys which was nice to see because most of what we had seen so far made us wonder why anyone would think that this desolate landscape was a desirable place to live. There were also huge areas of solar panels.

Beit She'an is a national park but not in the nature sense, it is the remains of a Roman city and one of the better ones we have seen as some areas like the amphitheater have been restored well and in other areas you can see the collapsed columns from an earthquake. Once again it was very hot with little shade.

We drove onto Nazareth to visit the Church of the Annunciation which is feted as being built on top of the grotto where Mary was visited by Gabriel who told her she would conceive the Son of God. We arrived at the gate for K to be told that her shorts were too short so she was not allowed to enter. At least at mosques they give you something to wear, here we had to go to a stall to buy a shawl. The grounds and church were decorated with mosaics gifted by many countries including Australia.

Nazareth was very busy with lots of traffic and we were pleased to drive on to our final stop for the night at Tiberias on the Sea of Galilee. We had read that Tiberias wasn't much of a city so we didn't have any expectations so we were pleasantly surprised to find it had a nice boardwalk with restaurants on the waters edge.

Day 73 - Rock garden

We collected our hire car and we weren't long out of Jerusalem when we started to notice the arid desert environment. We did pass plantations of date palms but apart from that the area seemed to be more conducive to growing rocks than anything else.

It wasn't long before we passed the sea level sign and kept descending until we were around 450 metres below sea level. It was a sunny day so the Dead Sea was bluer than we remembered from when we had visited on the Jordan side on a previous trip.

We arrived at our first stop, Masada and were shocked to get out of the car and find it was 35 degrees. This is officially winter in Israel but the weather had yet to turn so was still unseasonably warm. We walked to the cable car entrance to take us to to Herod's fortress on the plateau above. Once we arrived we were shocked at the line of tourists waiting to get the cable car back and now understood why we saw so many people walking down in the heat. The views from the top cemented the obvious reason why Herod chose this place as a safe place to build a palace and a fortress, it's pretty impossible for anyone to sneak up the sides. Unfortunately the site was full of noisy school groups, and when we were stuck with them in the cable car on the way down it wasn't the best experience.

We then drove not far down the road to Ein Gedi, an oasis in the desert. As we arrived we read that it closes at 4pm and the last entrance is 3pm, we just made it in at 2.59pm. The early closing is to allow the animals quiet time and access to the water without humans there. We had to pass more large school groups who have not heard of turning the volume down, no wonder they give the animals a break! The surrounding landscape for miles and miles is just rocks and desolation so to see a patch gushing water, water falls, greenery, hirax and ibex is quite strange.

We drove onto our reservation for the evening which was just outside Jericho at a place called Vered Yericho, we couldn't stop in Jericho itself as it is in the Palestinian area and we weren't allowed to take our Israeli hire car there. The small town we stayed in was a gated community, we were stopped at a checkpoint and our passports examined, it makes you wonder how anybody could get around the country without official documentation.

Day 72 - Lucky we were carrying our passports

The plan today was to go to Bethlehem but before that we needed to get a public transport card as well as a local sim card. We walked from home to a coffee shop that according to google sold transport cards but they didn't, they directed us to a nearby shopping centre. In there they weren't sure whether the transport cards were required for buses to Bethlehem as it's in Palestinian territory, where Israeli taxis, hire cars and buses aren't permitted (which is why most recommendations online are to visit as part of a tour). They made a phone call and it turns out they weren't. We did get a card anyway as it could be useful for Tel Aviv.  We then went looking to purchase a sim card, it took a while but we finally got one, then it was off to Bethlehem.

Google Maps had good public transport directions, so we had no trouble walking to the bus stop and we just paid cash when we boarded. Getting off at the last stop we ran the gauntlet of taxi drivers wanting to take us to Manger Square and walked there albeit through very quiet back streets. It's always a relief in these situations when you see other tourists, even if they are as lost as us.

We found Manger Square and the Milk Grotto before entering the aptly named Church of the Nativity. Once inside we realised why the streets were so quiet, every tourist in town was lined up for the Nativity Grotto, the birthplace of Jesus. How long it would take for your turn was mind boggling looking at the entire hall filled with a snaking line waiting to get a glimpse.

We decided to walk to the Israeli and Palestinian Separation Wall.  A hideous high concrete wall that in every way resembles a prison wall with towers, which is pretty much what it is. The wall was covered in graffiti and local stories and has become a site popular with the artist Banksy. Banksy has also opened a hotel called the "Walled Out Hotel" where every room overlooks the concrete wall. The hotel had lots of quirky Banksy art as well art from other as other artists.

On the trip back to Jerusalem the bus stopped, a group of local girls got off and then the military boarded to check our passports. Once that was done the girls got back on, showing their IDs as they entered. Unfortunately the bus driver didn't stop where we wanted him to, taking us almost all the way to the old city before he let us get off, luckily it wasn't too far from the restaurant area we wanted to visit, so we only had to back track a little bit.

Day 71 - Jerusalem and the Status Quo

K has a list of things she wants to see in Israel, growing up she would have never imagined that she would get to visit all the familiar names and places, Israel had never seemed like another country but more another planet.

First on the list was the free walking tour that we had booked to meet at Jaffa Gate, one of the entrances to the old city of Jerusalem. Each entrance is named according to where you want to go and Jaffa is the old name for Tel Aviv. We walked there from where we were staying and not far from home we spied a familiar Camino marker on the footpath. This makes sense as we are now in serious Christian pilgrimage territory. We were quite surprised at the size of the walking group but fortunately our guide had a huge voice and expertly filled us in on history, religion and politics over the next two hours. 

We learnt about the different quarters of the city, the Armenian quarter along with the Jewish, Christian and Muslim quarters. Unfortunately when we were outside the Church of the Holy Sepulchre/Church of the Resurrection it was so packed with people we ended up losing our tour group. 

After looking for them for a while we gave up and entered the Church that had been built over the site where Jesus had been crucified, buried and raised again. We had learnt that six different Christian religions occupy the church in harmony - the Greek Orthodox, Roman Catholic, Armenian Apostolic, Coptic Orthodox, Syriac Orthodox and Ethiopian Orthodox. They operate together under a Status Quo decided upon in 1757. A symbol of the status quo is a wooden ladder that was placed outside the church before 1757 which is still in place.

Unfortunately without our guide or internet access we weren't quite sure what we were looking at but were aware of the places of huge significance. Just inside the door was a stone slab that many people were placing their hands heads and items on, this was the slab where Jesus's body was prepared for burial. 

From here we walked to the Western Wall and walked down to the wall watching people praying and inserting their notes into the cracks in the walls (nowadays you can send your message in an email and someone will insert it for you).

From there we left the old city and stopped off at the old city of David, which is the ancient city. Then we walked past the Kidron Valley between the Temple Mount and the Mount of Olives. 

We found ourselves at the Tomb of the Virgin and right next door is the Grotto of Gethsemane. We finished our day visiting the Garden of Gethsemane before walking home in the dark. We both commented on how safe it felt to be walking in the dark in Israel, even with all the very young soldiers (to us they look 16 years old) with machine guns slung over their shoulders.

Day 70 - Planes, trains and automobiles

We drove an hour and a half from Paphos to Larnaca Airport to catch the 45 minute flight to Israel.  Ben Gurion airport is about halfway between Tel Aviv and Jerusalem, and our destination to start the "Jesus trail" was Jerusalem. We didn't have any internet when we arrived as our European sim wouldn't work in Israel, but it wasn't a problem as we had already worked out how to get to our apartment in Jerusalem.

Our plane landed at 2.30 and the customs queue was very lengthy but we finally collected our luggage and then went to take the lifts at the airport but were caught unaware by Israeli lift etiquette, which is essentially non-existent. It was every man for himself and whoever can push and shove their way on wins. M made it onto the first lift, K missed out but managed to be the last to squeeze in on at her second attempt.

We then bought our tickets for the fast train to Jerusalem and were told it was leaving from Platform 2, as all the signs were in Hebrew they weren't much use to us. Once again we had to battle the shoving and the elbows to make it on to the train but we were getting the hang of it now and settled down for the 20 minute trip to Jerusalem. About 15 minutes in M realised we were going in the wrong direction, so at the next stop we got off and travelled back to the airport, then waited for the right train. 

By the time we made it to the central railway station in Jerusalem it was peak hour and dusk and the road was super busy. However, we spotted a taxi rank and headed over thinking it would be a simple matter to get a ride to our hotel about 20 minutes away. Surprisingly to us none of the taxi drivers wanted to know us, they said: too much traffic and turned away. 

Our next option was the bus, so M went to purchase a travel card, but he returned with news that the queue was incredibly long so it would take ages. K had been watching people get on the buses, and noticed that most of them didn't use their travel card, we we decided to risk a possible fine and jump on the bus. We found the bus we needed, jumped in the back door with our luggage and hoped for the best. The traffic was terrible, it took as 10 minutes just to get away from the railway station but we eventually made it and were checked in by about 7pm.

We went for a walk down the street to the local supermarket, as we didn't have any internet for google translate K was trying to work out which milk to buy for coffee in the morning. She asked a nearby girl for help who asked "Are you Aussie, where are you from?", it turned out the girl was also from Melbourne (Caulfield as it turns out).

Day 69 - Bombs away

A quiet day today, starting off with a walk to the main promenade area that we had visited each day. There was a police "open day" on and there were lots of locals and tourists there, we witnessed demos of a helicopter rescue from the water, and defusing a bomb (made of a cardboard box and a briefcase). 

We then spent the afternoon booking our accommodation in Israel, which for some reason is very expensive, apparently the only people who don't find it expensive are those visiting from Iceland, which has made M very nervous about what's to come.

Day 68 - Birthplace of a goddess

Today we decided to see more of the island so drove to Petra tou Romiou, which according to Greek mythology is the birth place of Aphrodite. It's a large rock just offshore from a very pebbly beach, many of the pebbles being quite large and very smooth, and sporting on trend colours like pink and grey.

It's actually kind of interesting how many countries have attractions that are really just giant rocks just off the coast, someone should compile them all in to a book and then maybe make a TV series as well, they could get someone like Joanna Lumley, Michael Palin or Simon Reeves to visit this week's "large rock/arch just off the coast". It could include those rocks we saw in Spain, the 12 Apostles, etc, it would be absolutely fascinating and incredibly educational. 

After visiting Cyprus' version of "giant rock just off the coast", our next stop was Coral Beach just north of Paphos, supposedly one of the top beaches in Cyprus, but not really much of a beach by our standards, so from there we returned to the promenade we'd visited the previous day.

Then it was back to our townhouse to watch the sunset from our roof top before heading out for some English style cod and chips (which of course were nowhere near as good as our own flake and chips).